Oh: My Useless Goddess Read online

  Copyright

  NATSUME AKATSUKI

  Translation by Kevin Steinbach

  Cover art by Kurone Mishima

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  KONO SUBARASHII SEKAI NI SHUKUFUKU WO! Volume 1 AA, DAMEGAMI SAMA

  © 2013 Natsume Akatsuki, Kurone Mishima

  First published in Japan in 2013 by KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo.

  English translation rights arranged with KADOKAWA CORPORATION, Tokyo through TUTTLE-MORI AGENCY, INC., Tokyo.

  English translation © 2017 by Yen Press, LLC

  Yen Press, LLC supports the right to free expression and the value of copyright. The purpose of copyright is to encourage writers and artists to produce the creative works that enrich our culture.

  The scanning, uploading, and distribution of this book without permission is a theft of the author’s intellectual property. If you would like permission to use material from the book (other than for review purposes), please contact the publisher. Thank you for your support of the author’s rights.

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  First Yen On Edition: February 2017

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  Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data

  Names: Akatsuki, Natsume, author. | Mishima, Kurone, 1991– illustrator. | Steinbach, Kevin, translator.

  Title: Konosuba, God’s blessing on this wonderful world! / Natsume Akatsuki ; illustration by Kurone Mishima ; translation by Kevin Steinbach.

  Other titles: Kono subarashi sekai ni shukufuku o. English

  Description: First Yen On edition. | New York, NY : Yen On, 2017– Contents: v. 1. Oh! my useless goddess!

  Identifiers: LCCN 2016052009| ISBN 9780316553377 (v. 1 : paperback)

  Subjects: | CYAC: Fantasy. | Future life—Fiction. | Adventure and adventurers—Fiction. | BISAC: FICTION / Fantasy / General.

  Classification: LCC PZ7.1.A38 Ko 2017 | DDC [Fic]—dc23

  LC record available at https://lccn.loc.gov/2016052009

  ISBNs: 978-0-316-55337-7 (paperback)

  978-0-316-46872-5 (ebook)

  E3-20170124-JV-PC

  Prologue

  “Kazuma Satou… Welcome to the Great Beyond. I’m sorry to tell you that you’ve passed on. It was a short life, but it’s over now.”

  Those were the first words I heard upon finding myself in that bright white room.

  It was so sudden, I had no idea what was going on. There was a little desk and a chair, like you’d find in an office. And sitting in the chair was the person notifying me of the end of my life.

  If there are such things as goddesses, the woman in front of me certainly qualified.

  She was more than just “cute” like the pop stars on TV—no human could match her beauty.

  She had long hair the translucent blue of the sea on a clear day. It gave her a soft, gentle aura.

  She looked to be about my age.

  Her light-purple clothes fit perfectly, not too revealing but not hiding anything. She was wearing what we would call a “Feather Dress,” divine raiment like the ones in Japan’s old stories.

  This beauty stared at me with eyes the same light blue as her hair, blinking at my inability to understand what had happened.

  I thought back on the last thing I could remember…

  …Normally I stay locked in my room. Don’t even go to school. But today, for once, I left the house. I wanted to get the limited Day One edition of a popular MMO that was coming out today, so I was up earlier than usual to claim my spot in line.

  Yeah, I’m what people like to dismiss as a “hikikomori,” someone so intensely introverted, they’ve withdrawn from society, living a life of isolation and never leaving their room. Others call me an “MMO junkie.” Whatever. I secured my game and was heading home to try it out, spirits high. Then it happened.

  A girl was walking ahead of me, playing with her phone. Judging by her uniform, she was enrolled at the same school as me.

  The traffic light turned green, and she stepped into the crosswalk without even glancing left or right.

  I saw the shadow loom over her.

  It had to be a truck, bearing down on her at high speed.

  I shoved her out of the way before I could think.

  And then…

  With a calm that surprised even me, I said quietly to the beautiful woman before me:

  “…Can I just ask one thing?”

  She nodded. “Of course.”

  “…That girl…the one I pushed out of the way. Is she alive?”

  That was important to me. It was the first—and last—cool thing I’d done in my life. If it turned out I’d been too late, that I hadn’t saved her—that would be awful.

  “Sure. She’s got a pretty bad broken leg, though.”

  Thank goodness…

  That meant my death wasn’t in vain. I was able to do something worthwhile with my life, even if only at the very end…

  The beautiful girl cocked her head questioningly at my look of relief.

  “Although, if you hadn’t pushed her, she wouldn’t have been hurt at all.”

  “……Huh?”

  What did she just say?!

  “That tractor would’ve stopped before hitting her. Obviously. It’s a tractor. It doesn’t even go that fast. Your dumb heroics were totally uncalled for. Pffft…hee-hee-hee!”

  She sure knew how to make a good first impression. Not.

  I guess it would be rude to smack her. But I really want to.

  Never mind that. There was something more important to ask.

  “What did you say? A tractor? Not a truck?”

  “Yes, that’s right. A tractor. You think that girl wouldn’t have noticed if some huge truck was coming right at her? She would’ve gotten out of the way.”

  …Huh?

  “Wait, so…I died getting run over by a tractor?”

  “No, you died of shock. You were convinced a truck had hit you, and your body failed. I’ve been doing this a long time, but you’re the first person I’ve met who died in such a weird way.”

  I was at a loss for words.

  “Incidentally, you soiled yourself when you thought you were going to be hit by that tractor. They took you to the nearest hospital, and all the doctors and nurses were like, ‘Whaaat? What a loser! (LOL),’ and you died of a heart attack without even waking u—”

  I threw my hands over my ears. “Stop iiiit! Please noooo, I don’t wanna hear it! I don’t need to hear how pathetic it was!”

  She drew close to me and, with a smirk, whispered in my ear: “Your family got to the hospital just this minute, and before they could even grieve, they heard the cause of death and burst out laughi—”

  “Stop! Stop! You’re making this up, right? No one’s ever died in such a pathetic way!”

  She stood above me and giggled as I knelt on the ground, my head in my hands.

  “All right. I guess I’ve let off enough steam for today. Nice to meet you, Kazuma Satou. My name is Aqua. I’m a goddess who gives guidance to those in Japan who die young. Now, then. Regardless of how amusing the circumstanc
es of your demise may be, you have two choices.”

  This damn woman…!

  All right, forget it. I had to let it go, or we’d never get anywhere.

  “Option one: be reborn as a human, starting a completely new life. And option two: live like an old geezer in a heavenly place.”

  Talk about lose-lose.

  “Hang on… What do you mean, ‘heavenly place’? And what is ‘living like an old geezer,’ anyway?”

  “Honestly, Heaven isn’t as great a place as you humans imagine. The dead don’t need to eat, and nothing is ever produced in the afterlife—so even if you wanted to cook something, there’d be no ingredients. Sorry to disappoint you, but Heaven’s actually a real drag. No TV, no manga, no video games. Just a bunch of dead people. And since you’re dead, you can’t even hook up with anyone! I mean, you don’t really have a body, right? It’s just you and a bunch of spirits sitting around sunning yourselves and making small talk for all eternity.”

  What? No paradise? No video games? That’s not Heaven. That’s Hell.

  I could start over as a baby…

  Hang on—are those seriously my only choices?

  I was clearly dejected, but the goddess gave me a huge smile.

  “You’re right. Who wants to go to a boring place like Heaven? And being reborn isn’t so hot, either. You lose all your memories, and isn’t that basically the same as saying you, Kazuma Satou, would cease to exist? Well! Have I got an offer for you…”

  I smelled something fishy.

  She saw I was wary, but Aqua only grinned even wider.

  “You like video games, right?”

  And then she proudly laid out her great proposal or whatever.

  The long and short of it was this:

  There’s another world, different from our own, that is home to someone called the Demon King.

  The Demon King’s invading army threatens that world. It’s a place of magic and monsters—in other words, a fantasy setting pretty much like those found in popular games like Dragon Hunter or MonsterQuest.

  “So people who die in that world… Well, see, the majority of them were killed by the Demon King, right? And they don’t want to go through that again. So most of them refuse to be reborn. That means fewer and fewer babies are getting born there, and eventually the world will be ruined! So we thought…why not send someone who died in some other world off to this threatened one?”

  I can’t imagine the headaches around that immigration policy.

  “And we figured as long as we’re sending someone, it might as well be someone who died young, a blank slate. We’d send them with their body and memory intact. What’s more, since it would be silly to send someone over there just to die again, we decided to allow them to bring along any one thing they want. A powerful special ability, an incredible talent… Some people choose a legendary weapon… So how about it? You get another shot at life in a new world, and they get someone battle-ready to come to their aid. What do you think? Not bad, right?”

  It really wasn’t bad.

  I could feel my excitement ramping up, though. I liked games, sure, but I never thought I’d have the chance to live in a world just like one.

  But before that, first things first…

  “Um, just asking, but—what about the language in this new world? Can I speak it?”

  “No worries there. Through the kind support of us deities, the language will be loaded into your brain when you go over, allowing you to learn it instantaneously. You’ll be able to read it, too, of course. There’s a slim chance that it would result in an overload that makes you go poof, if you’re not lucky. So! All that’s left is to pick your awesome ability or gear.”

  “Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Did you just say I might go poof?”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  Even though she was a goddess, I found myself speaking bluntly, without any of the anxiety I’d felt until a few minutes ago.

  …I had to admit, it was an attractive proposition.

  True, I was worried I might go poof, but (not to brag) my luck had always been my only strong point, so I figured I would be fine.

  Aqua thrust something like a catalog in front of my face.

  “Take your pick. Any one thing. I’ll give you power second to none. Look. This one’s an amazing special ability. Here’s a legendary sword. Come on, anything at all. Just say the word, and you can bring it with you to your new home.”

  I took the catalog from her and thumbed through the pages. It listed everything by name: “Super Strength,” “Profound Magic,” “the Sacred Sword Arondight,” “Muramasa, the Demon Blade.”

  I got it. They wanted me to pick some power or item from this catalog.

  Aww, man…how could I ever choose?

  Maybe it was my gamer’s intuition speaking, but everything seemed totally broken.

  What to pick, what to pick? Well, if there was gonna be magic there, then of course I would have to try it! So maybe some power that would involve the use of magic…

  “C’mon, hurry up, will you? It doesn’t matter what you pick, anyway. No one’s expecting anything from some hikikomori video game otaku, so just grab something and get outta here! Come on—we haven’t got all eternity!”

  “I-I’m not an otaku. And I died outdoors, so I’m not a hikikomori, either.” My reply was quiet, and my voice trembled. Aqua, toying with her hair, answered with complete disinterest:

  “Look, I don’t care. You think you’re the only dead guy I’ve got to ferry to the afterlife today? Pick up the pace!”

  Aqua leaned back in her chair, not even looking at me as she spoke. She was shoving some little snack in her mouth…

  This girl! She meets someone for the first time, and what does she do? Make fun of how they died! She thinks she can do whatever she wants just because she’s kind of cute…

  Naturally, her attitude made me pretty ticked off.

  So she wanted me to hurry up and decide?

  Fine, I’d decide.

  Any one “thing” I wanted to take with me, right?

  “…You, then.” I pointed at Aqua.

  Aqua looked at me blankly and put another snack in her mouth.

  “Hmm. Okay, stay inside this magic circle…”

  Suddenly, she caught herself.

  “W-wait. What did you say?”

  At that moment…

  “Your wish is received. Then, Lady Aqua, I shall tend to your duties henceforth.”

  A winged woman appeared out of nowhere in a bright flash of light. She looked like some kind of angel.

  “…What?” Aqua said stupidly. A blue magic circle appeared at her feet, and at mine.

  Ooh, cool effects. Were we really headed to another world?

  “Wait—what?! Y-you’ve gotta be kidding me! That wish doesn’t count, right? No way it counts! Wait! Waiiit!” She flailed ineffectually, tears flying from her eyes.

  “Safe travels, milady,” the angel said to her. “Leave things to me. Whensoever you do defeat the Demon King, I shall send someone to retrieve you. Until then, allow me to attend to your duties.”

  “Wait! Seriously, wait! I’m a goddess! I can heal people, but I don’t know how to fight! How am I supposed to defeat the Demon King?!”

  The angel only glanced at the sobbing, prostrate Aqua, then gave me a gentle smile.

  “Mr. Kazuma Satou. I will now send you to this new world, as one of the candidates for the hero who will defeat the Demon King. Whensoever you should do so, you will receive a gift from the gods.”

  “A gift…?” I asked.

  “Yes. One commensurate with the worth of a world saved. The gods will grant any one thing you should ask.”

  “Cool!”

  If I ended up getting sick of this new place, I could ask to go back to Japan, for example—

  If I ended up getting sick of this new place, I could ask to go back to Japan, be filthy rich and surrounded by beautiful women, and spend
the rest of my life playing video games! Just how decadent could a wish get?

  “Hey, wait! That’s a great line—and it’s supposed to be mine!” It was Aqua again, bewailing the sudden loss of her job to this angel who’d come out of nowhere.

  Frankly, I was rather pleased to see her like that. I pointed at Aqua.

  “How does it feel to be dragged off to another world by the guy you were just making fun of? You’re the one ‘thing’ I’m bringing along—so you’d better use that goddess power of yours to make my life as cushy as I want!”

  “Noooo! Pleeease don’t make me go to a new world with a man like this!!”

  “Hero! I pray for your success as the one candidate of many who will bring low the Demon King. Now—hie you hence!”

  The angel’s solemn invocation was disturbed only by Aqua’s cry:

  “Nooooo! That’s myyy liiiine, tooooo!”

  Then the still-weeping Aqua and I were enveloped in a brilliant light…

  Chapter 1

  May I Go to a New World With This Self-Proclaimed Goddess!

  1

  Horse-drawn carriages rattled along the stone-paved streets of a town.

  “It’s…it’s a parallel universe. Look around! We’re in an actual other world! Am I really here? Am I really gonna get to learn magic and go adventuring?!”

  I took in the scene before me, quivering with excitement.

  Brick buildings stood eave to eave, like a scene straight from Middle Ages Europe.

  There were no cars or motorcycles, no utility poles, no cell phone towers.

  “Oh man! Ohhh man! Ohmanohmanohman!”

  My eyes darted everywhere, watching the people passing by.

  “He’s got animal ears—real ones! And there’s an elf! A real elf! She’s gotta be an elf—she’s so beautiful! Good-bye, modern-day hermit life! Hello, fantasy world! Now, this is a place where I could see actually going outside…getting a job and stop being a NEET—”

  “Waaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!”

  I looked at Aqua, who was on her knees beside me, head in her hands.